


Roses in the Rain

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: July Song Fic Challenge - @gabrielwritestonight [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Post-Apocalypse Sam Lives, Songfic, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 23:22:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7409263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares of Jess keep Sam from sleeping, so Castiel takes him to a peaceful place where they can enjoy a quiet moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the July Songfic challenge from @gabrielwritestonight.
> 
> Prompt Song: "Us Against the World" by Coldplay
> 
> Title taken from the bridge:  
>  _And if we could float away_  
>  Fly up to the surface and just start again  
> And lift off before trouble  
> Just erodes us in the rain  
> Just erodes us in the rain  
> Just erodes us  
> And see roses in the rain

It had been a long time since Sam had nightmares of Jess. He thought he’d made his peace with her death years ago. Lucifer stirred it up, by appearing to him as Jess in dreams, but those weren’t because of Jess. He’d thought killing Brady would help put even that to rest. Jess was, finally, fully avenged.

But tonight, he was hearing her screaming every time he closed his eyes. Screams, accusations, becoming a vengeful ghost, every possible bad thing he could imagine seemed to be right there behind his eyelids. He wasn’t going to get any more sleep tonight.

A soft wind, the rush of wings, was all the warning Sam had before Castiel had him wrapped up in a hug. Of all the changes in his and Dean’s lives after they managed to shove Lucifer back into his hole, the hardest one to believe was his relationship with Castiel. The angel had been the one to trap his soul before his body took Lucifer back to the Cage, and recreated his body for him once the hole was sealed. Afterwards, Castiel had helped him through some rough nights where the torture Lucifer subjected him to during his possession left him unable to sleep. One thing led to another, and now it was hardly unusual for Castiel to show up late at night, after Dean had gone to bed, to visit Sam. “Is it Lucifer?” Castiel whispered.

“No. Not exactly. It’s Jess.” Sam buried his face in Castiel’s hair. “I don’t know why.”

“Most likely because it’s been five years since the night she died, Sam. I’m sure it seems much longer to you.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. Castiel was right. It was November 2nd. “Wow. Yeah, that feels like… like a completely different lifetime.”

Castiel pulled away and grabbed the motel stationery pad to leave a note for Dean. The first time Dean had awakened to find Castiel had taken Sam somewhere, he’d gone ballistic, ripping into them both for scaring the crap out of him. Because, you know, he’d never gone to sleep with Sam just across the gap between the beds and woken up to find Sam run off and out of his life for years, or captured by a demon for some sort of sadistic Hunger Games scenario. It was hard for either of them to argue his point.

“Close your eyes, Sam.” Sam obeyed, and the air shifted around them. It was warm, and there was a soft rain falling. “Okay.”

Sam opened his eyes. He and Castiel were on top of a building overlooking a huge rose garden. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, and it was so quiet and still that Sam hesitated to talk. Still, he was curious. “Where are we?”

“Argentina. Some of these roses are putting out their first blooms of the season. When I was searching for God, I came across this place, and I spent days here because I thought I could feel his presence. I believe now it’s just because He’s a gardener, and this place is so quiet. But I’m glad to come back, to see it in bloom again. A small piece of the world you saved.”

Sam smiled at that, laying down on the roof with his head in Castiel’s lap. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“Tell me about Jess.”

“We met at Stanford – my friend Brady introduced us at a party, and she threw her beer on us. Brady was dating her roommate and she thought Brady was trying to hook her up with his roommate so that she’d be out of the room more often. That wasn’t his intent. He just…” Sam trailed off for a bit. “He knew that Jess was someone I would fall head over heels for so when Azazel wanted me back in the game, he had a game piece to burn.”

“He was possessed. Brady didn’t do that to you.”

“I know, but I’m still having trouble sorting out the good memories from the time before he was possessed from the bad times afterwards. We stopped being friends junior year, years before I knew what had happened to him.” Castiel’s fingers slipped into Sam’s hair, combing through it, a gesture that had always comforted Sam. “Jess was awesome. She was confident and fun, but not in your face about it. We bonded over researching something together for classes – different classes, but the project we were working on was applicable to both. I don’t even remember which of us was the one to kiss the other that first time, but I know that she was usually the one to make the first move.”

“What was she studying?”

“Her major was statistics, and she was doing a minor in theatre just because she could. She was gonna go to business school while I did law school, and then we’d try to work for the same company, even if that meant starting our own. It would’ve been a nice life.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you’d hoped.”

“It wouldn’t have anyway. It was a nice fantasy, and I could probably have made it work for a few years, but eventually something would have gotten me back in the hunt. Dean, probably, one way or another. I was never meant for a safe, apple-pie life, and I was never really happy in the fantasy despite having everything I thought I wanted. I hate the chaos and the running, but the truth is, I’m not sure I can be happy without it. I just need moments like this, too, where I’m safe and happy, and nothing that life had to offer could compare to watching roses in the rain in the dawn with my angel boyfriend.”

“So you’re happy, now, in this life? Hunting with Dean, me dropping by when we’re both able to take some time?” Sam looked away from the roses. Castiel had his serious face on. Well, he always had his serious face on, but this was the “this is very important to me and I would like a straight answer” face.

“I’m happy. It’s human nature to wish you had things you can’t have, like a dog, but I have what I need and I want what I have, so this is good.”

Castiel’s face softened into a smile. “In that case, would you like to bond with me? I don’t know if we could marry under human law, at the very least we would have to create a false identity for me and that would seem like creating a marriage that’s a lie, but the angelic equivalent has always accepted angel-human bonding.”

Sam sat up quickly, surprised that Castiel would ask. But Cas wouldn’t ask if he didn’t mean it, or if it weren’t what he wanted. “Yes. I would love that.” Sam narrowed his eyes, remembering the way Dean had been teasing him the last few days. “Did you talk to Dean about this?”

“I told him I wanted to ask you and if he had suggestions for when and how. He promised to keep quiet. Has he not?”

“Nothing that I would catch at the time, but looking back…” Sam kissed Castiel before laying his head back in Cas’s lap. “Was he helpful?”

“He gave me some suggestions, but this wasn’t among them. So perhaps. Still, it felt right. Taking a moment of quiet from the chaos.” It did feel right. It’s what they’d become to each other.

“If he’s being helpful, then he’s okay with this. I’m glad. You know, it’s always been me and him against the world, and that’s important to him.”

“I’m not meaning to change that,” Castiel said. “You and your brother will always be at your best when you’re together.”

“But it means he’s willing to let you into that mentality, where it’s us against the world – and you’re part of ‘us’. Aside from Dad, and maybe Bobby, I don’t think Dean’s ever accepted anyone that way.”

“Oh. Yes, that is a good thing.” Castiel went back to stroking Sam’s hair. “What would you have done if he hadn’t?”

“Said yes anyway and told Dean to either get on board or shut up. Would you have asked if he’d objected to it?”

“I don’t know. Probably not; he’s accepted our relationship, so I can’t imagine he’d object to a formalization of it without good reason. Thankfully, he seemed rather pleased by the idea.”

“I am too.” Sam looked back out at the roses. The sun was up, now, and the rain was stopped. But it was still, and it was beautiful, and he was with Castiel. It was a perfect moment of quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are like throwing roses at stage performers!


End file.
